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This personality is often said to come from being oldest in a group of brothers and sisters. Big sister early learns to take care of herself, likes to get involved and experiments with her leading role towards the younger siblings.
This personality is important to the growth and development of the world, because we need leader that can and want to show the way. Those who choose to follow are the ones who don’t have the same thirst for confirmation, attention and are happy with the simple life. In motivation and self-esteem the possession of these roles are an unnoticeable advantage. The leader is strong, outspoken, makes people respect him/her and have an overwhelming strength. The other personality can feel unsafe, inadequate and inferior.
Give your children inner strength
If this scenario takes place in childhood, a lack of self-esteem can be the result. Try to constrain the child that is taking the upper hand. And encourage the other. Give your children opportunities to increase their creative conditions.
See your children as individuals and try to develop sides that you and their surroundings appreciate. Teach them to show emotions, to have the courage to be sad, angry and laugh their heart out. Let them be curious about what life has to offer and not be scared of opportunity. It’s important that they know they’re valuable and have a right to be well treated in life. A safe foundation, where the moral and ethic rules are clear and permeated with love and mutual respect, gives a stable personality.
Your child is an extension of you…
Your child acts like you, talks like you and will choose the same newspaper, gas station and detergent like you. Your child is a product of you and the disappointments you might feel towards your child should sometimes be towards yourself. Your actions reflect in this copycat individual you’ve brought to life.
Your job as a parent isn’t easy and there will be questions unanswered and you will feel inadequate and powerless. Think positive and try to imagine what you want the finished product to be like. How do you want your grown up kids to handle and function in their surroundings?
Show the way, without leading…
Motivate your child to make their own decisions and be responsible. When dealing with lifestyle issues like exercise, diet and health this is an important foundation for life. What you teach your kids is what they relate to as adults.
How are you perceived by your child if you always serve fast food and just lie in front of the TV? Your child will think this is normal and is likely to follow your example. On the other hand you can cook together with your kids, let them be a part and early lay down the bas in a functioning household.
Take them out for playing and walking. For your own health and to get your kids activated.
Be honest with each other…
Tell your children when you’re angry, sad or happy. Use simple language and words like “you” and “me” and show them that it’s okay to say what’s on your mind.
For example:
- “It makes me sad when you do that…”
- “Those words hurt my feelings.”
- “I don’t have time if you don’t help me.”
- Don’t accuse, but be clear and try not to raise your voice. Lead the conversation with conscious choices of words and a clear wish to agree. Don’t speak over your child’s head and keep eye contact.
Soft, warm role model or worried, weak, unstable parent
Lack of time and performance anxiety can make it hard to decide. Emotions and fear of feeling inadequate to the development of your child are big. I think it’s important to not focus too much on what the child can’t do. Instead encourage the things you want your child to use. Introduce them to activities and help the child into nice company. Be a solid and reliable foundation that your child can always turn to.
Conditions to do a good job for yourself, your child and your surroundings are to know yourself, your positive and negative qualities. Based on that, you should trust your own judgment and make conscious choices for you and your child.
No one is perfect…
It’s important not to enter parenthood thinking you’ll be perfect and always have all the answers. No one’s perfect and it’s better to admit when you’re wrong than to always have to be right or the best.
Remember, we all have positive qualities that make people love us. You have lots of them that your friends appreciate and consider an advantage with your personality. Try to find these in your friends and family. Encourage them, show your appreciation. Don’t be jealous about other people’s talents, learn to appreciate your own.
Be with people who give you joy, motivate you and who you love. Give energy to your surroundings and try to always be honest decent and unselfish.
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